Time. Stands. Still.
When you find out someone you love has died, everything goes hazy. The shock starts to take over your body and forward movement only happens because your body has memorized the motions. Your head is screaming at you to stop moving, stop breathing, stop everything; but your body knows that there are things to be done, decisions to be made. You collect paperwork, make plans and prepare for what cannot be prepared for.
The Family gathers. A spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and friends…left behind. We all react differently but the overwhelming need for each other is the same. Embraces are long and genuine and steadying. Hands are grasped, words are whispered, tears are shed. Comfort is sought in those we love.
With this gathering, smiles and laughter are found amid the sorrow. Reminisces of past days and good, good stories; remembrances of the loved one now so sorely missed. Tears ebb and flow, time starts moving again and goodbye approaches. That one tiny word catches the breath in your throat and your mouth struggles to get it out before it chokes you. Once it is out, you let the ache consume you. You let time, the great healer, push you forward.
Weeks pass and though they have lessened, the tears still find their way out; called forward by the smallest of things in the smallest of moments. How I wish they would go and how I wish they would stay; finding comfort in the ache in my heart. Comfort knowing that I have cared so much for someone. Comfort that the hollow place inside me exists because I have known someone worth missing, someone, worth aching for.
We seek comfort in times of pain. To heal our sorrow. To help us cope with the losses.
This is my comfort:
- hot mugs of tea
- old movies
- bowls of creamy soup
- my husband’s hand
I hope this recipe can bring you some comfort, as it does me.
Should you need it…
Cream of Jalapeño Soup
Cook time: 45 minutes
Yields: 4 servings
This is a creamy flavorful soup that has a slight heat to it. It is smooth, rich, and comforting.
Top with sour cream, shredded pepper-jack cheese or chopped cilantro, if desired.
Serve with crusty bread for dipping.
-1 tsp. oil
-1/2 medium yellow onion (about 1/4 cup)
-1 large or two small carrots (about 1/3 cup)
-1 tsp. butter
-2 jalapeno peppers
-1 poblano pepper
-1 clove garlic
-4 cups chicken broth (one 32 ounce box or 2 cans)
-1/2 cup water
-1/4 cup flour
-2 tsp. cornstarch
-1 cup cream (1 half pint)
-1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
-1/8 tsp. cumin
-1/4 tsp chili powder
-1 tsp salt
- Peel and roughly chop the onion, carrot. Seed and chop the peppers and garlic and set aside. *see notes
- Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat, add the onion and carrot and sauté for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Add the butter to the pan along with the peppers and garlic, sauté for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Turn up the heat to medium high, cook the veggies until slightly browned.
- Add the broth to the veggies and bring it to a boil.
- Reduce the heat to medium, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
- Remove the pan from the heat and carefully blend the soup with an immersion blender or in a regular blender.
- Reserve 1 cup of the soup mixture and set aside. Return the rest of the soup to the saucepan and place over medium high heat.
- Mix the water, flour and cornstarch in a small bowl.
- Add the flour mixture to the soup with a whisk and stir constantly until thickened. Remove pan from heat.
- Mix the reserved broth into the cream, then slowly whisk the cream mixture into the soup.
- Add the cayenne pepper, cumin and chili powder. Season to taste with the salt. *see notes
-The veggies will be blended into the soup, so precision chopping is not necessary.
-Add more cayenne pepper to amp up the heat.
Cream of Jalapeno Soup by whisk&flip